Morgaine

Posts Tagged ‘wisdom’

Spiderwoman speaks

In Too lazy to assign a category on February 28, 2007 at 8:25 pm

It used to be quiet around here. Peaceful. Oceanic.

That was in the long ago time.
We were all one, then.
Not a matter of belief. A fact.

You could see the Web, plain as day,
spread out across the land.
Nothing frayed, nothing torn.

Just me, and all my Relations.
Weaving the shimmering, beautiful web.
Each shining strand connected to each shining,
lightwoven strand.
All one.

Maybe it began with one little fray,
one little link that broke in some insignificant place.

Crevices opened. Cracks.

It doesn't matter what you call me. I've had a lot of names.

These are my children. Some of them got lost along the way.

Too many are forgotten, buried by the years.
Some have returned, some are beating like hail on the roof,
some are voices howling like coyote in the wilderness,
some are your own ghosts wandering through your sleep.

They want to come Home.
The Web needs mending.

As found here.

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Wings

In Too lazy to assign a category on January 2, 2007 at 3:22 pm

Wings

"Don't build me a golden cage but give me wings to discover the world."

My mother gave this to me years ago. It's one of my favourite possessions.

I guess it's a variation on: if you love someone, set them free. It sure is how I tick. Try to pin me down, and the harder you try, the more you'll push me away. Sure, the cage may be golden, but I don't want to be caged, and I don't want to feel trapped. I don't want people to claim me.

It works on many levels. First there's the material level. When I was younger, I used to work in the diamond industry. There was an Indian guy that fell in love with me. At a certain point, he even wanted me to marry him. There was the huge diamond ring, there was the platinum credit card, there was the villa. All I had to do was say yes. But I didn't. Because I knew I would be living in a golden cage for the rest of my life, and while I might not know what I want out of life, I know it's not that.

It also works on a non material level. I don't want to mean the world to someone, because all too often it boils down to them making me (knowingly, or more often unknowingly) feel responsible for their happiness. I don't want to have to weigh my words all the time, because what I say might make them feel unhappy. I don't want to make someone feel miserable on purpose, but I can't stand the feeling of doing just that, no matter what I say. I don't like feeling that no matter how much time I spend on them, it's never enough. When that happens, I withdraw.

And I know, withdrawing might not be the best answer to such a situation, but it makes me panic. It makes me look for exits. Even while I might not want to get out, I worry and worry, I lie awake at night, and at a certain point, I even run into difficulty breathing. Then all I'm capable of is taking a (temporary) distance. To make it worse, other things going on in my life, might work as a catalyst. And of course, the other person is not going to understand.

Finally, it also works on a very personal level. I build a cage for myself. The cage might give me a (false) sense of safety, but who am I kidding? It only reinforces my anxieties, my fears. In 2007 I want to tear down my own personal cage, and step into the world, liberated, free to explore.

picture taken by me

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A Cherokee Legend

In Too lazy to assign a category on December 22, 2006 at 8:35 pm

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

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